We’ve got this coronavirus on, which means a lot of us are staying inside for an indeterminate amount of time.
And that means a lot of down time, which means boredom will become your worst enemy – well, second-worst behind COVID-19. If you’re like me, you can watch only so much Netflix before getting restless to do something else.
So, as a public service, I have some ideas to help the quarantined and semi-quarantined among us make it through this challenging time. Most of these fun activities are for those of you who live with someone else – a spouse, children, several cats, whatever – but I also have some ideas for the most isolated of you.
• Clean off your dresser. You know you’re never actually going to file those receipts like a responsible adult, and less clutter can relieve your stress. Plus, you might find that vape pen you thought you’d lost three months ago.
• Make sock puppets with your kids. Give each one a unique look, name them, and make up stories. Kids love that stuff.
Even if you live alone, you could make a sock puppet. Then you’ll have a new friend to keep you company! Heck, go crazy and make two sock puppets.
• Make macaroni art. And once you’re done, scrape the macaroni into a pan and boil it for supper, because you don’t want to waste food during a time like this.
• Hold a trash can basketball tournament. All you do is ball up some paper, wrap it in duct tape, and place a garbage receptacle against the wall. And don’t be afraid to dunk on your 8-year-old.
• Watch a pot of water boil.
• To make this whole situation less scary, make anagrams out of “coronavirus.” For example: corn saviour.
• Pluck your significant other’s eyebrows while they sleep.
• Have a Nerf gun war. It’ll be good practice in case society totally collapses.
• Give yourself a mohawk.
• Clean your ice cubes – with hot water, so as to kill all the germs. Can’t be too careful.
• Exercise. You can do all sorts of workouts at home. Push-ups, sit-ups, lunges. Involve your kids by using them to bench press.
• Paint the cat.
• Meditate. Embrace the silence. Ride the waves of the existential dread that courses through your soul.
• Teach your kids to play Texas Hold’em.
• Start a “quarantine journal” so you can track the rate of your mental health decline.
• Make a baby.
• Play that game you did as a kid when you and your friends would knock a balloon around and try to keep it from touching the floor. The loser will be forced – at gunpoint, if necessary – to venture out to Walmart in search of toilet paper.
• Stare out the window.
• If you live alone, jump up and down on your bed. Who’s gonna stop you?
• For you kids, mess with the thermostat and see how long it takes for your dad to notice. Do this several times to see if his response time gets faster.
I hope these tips prove helpful. We can all make it through this.
Oh, one more thing: WASH YOUR HANDS.