mcj-oped-jim-rutledge

mcj-oped-jim-rutledge Bro. Jim Rutledge

With all the problems, ups and downs, who’s right and who’s wrong hodge-podge of various schemes of the past election for president, I ran across some laughter for a change. I realize that with old age, wisdom is a must if we are to survive unscathed in life.

Some people are like the curl on a pig’s tail – it doesn’t add one ounce of weight to the hog. Cows sometimes forget that they were once little calves. Let’s don’t forget that great oaks were once little acorns. Many of us should leave the grunting to the hogs and snarling to the dogs. Even frogs betray themselves by their own croaking.

Military funeral

During the heavy schedule of politicking of the past summer, candidate Joe Biden was in Jackson for a speaking engagement. After the engagement, he told the driver of the limo to drive around the country awhile. Thus, they found themselves over around Pearl on a country road. As they drove, the air conditioner went out on the limo. They rolled the windows down to try to cool off. Joe took his tie and coat off but got no relief from the extreme heat.

A small creek with running water was spotted by the roadside. Joe said, “Stop this stupid car, I’ve got to have some relief from this Mississippi humidity.” He stripped down to his briefs and jumped into the creek to cool off. The water turned out to be colder than expected, however. You guessed it – he got leg cramps and was going under for the second time when some junior boys saw the situation. They had been fishing nearby and heard the screams from the driver and his security.

They looked at each other in amazement, having never seen a situation like this. What blew their minds seemed to be like the concern for the man in the creek about to drown. Well, the three junior boys were all good swimmers, having been raised in the country. With a splash, all three jumped in, rescued candidate Joe Biden and pulled him out of the creek.

After being rescued, Joe Biden began to thank each of the boys. “Do you know who I am?” he asked them. “I’m an ex-senator running for the office of president of the United States. You have just rescued a very important man, and the country appreciates your bravery. I want to reward you for saving my life. I will give you whatever your want for your heroism.”

They looked at each other and thanked Joe for his kindness but refused any reward. Again, Joe said, “Whatever you ask, I’ll make sure you get it – I’ve got to give you something.”

“Well sir, I’ve always wanted a new bicycle,” Billy Bob said.

“You’ve got it,” Joe said.

Sammy Earl thought for a moment, realizing this dude is going to get a new bike.

“I’ll ask for a Yamaha 350 dirt bike,” he thought. “Thus, I’ll see how far I can take this sucker.”

Sure enough, Joe Biden promised Sammy Earl the motorcycle.

Ralphie, standing to the side of Billy Bob and Sammy Earl, was flabbergasted at the high-roller and what they had just encountered.

Joe, bragging to the third junior boy while grinning from ear to ear, said “Son, you’ve got something in mind. What is it? Anything is yours.”

“Okay,” Ralphie said, “I want a military funeral.”

“Son, you’re just a boy – no more than 12 years old,” Joe said. “Why do want a military funeral?”

“Well sir,” the boy replied, “When my dad hears who we pulled out of this creek, he’s going to kill.”

JAMES RUTLEDGE is from Amory.

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